3 Adar II - My baby girl is 1 month old

My house is a mess...

I desperately need to do laundry (especially since I am in limbo between maternity clothes and regular clothes and only a handful of things fit)...

My coffee is getting cold...

I am beyond tired...

and yet I spend my time watching my beautiful daughter sleep.

Today she is one month old according to the Jewish calendar. I am still in awe of the beautiful baby girl that Hashem blessed us with. I am so grateful that (most of the time) she is an easy baby. She only cries when she is hungry or needs her diaper changed. She quickly adjusted her days and nights. She may prefer to sleep in our arms than in her bassinet, which can make it hard to get anything done, but it is also the sweetest feeling to hold her while she sleeps.

I am still working on her birth story. It is long, mainly because there are so many details and emotions, and I am having trouble putting it down on paper. We had a birth plan. I had a very long labor. And in the end things did not go as planed. Yes, b"H, I have a healthy baby, but that does not take away the emotional struggles that I have been fighting as a result of having a c-section. I need to take the time and get it all out. And I want to share it because I have encountered so many people who think a healthy baby erases all the trauma that can be associated with c-sections. So I am writing and editing and taking breaks to watch my baby girl sleep and listen to her sleep noises, which are so very cute.

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh